It’s amazing how unaware you and others around you can become when there’s a baby around. A good example of this came yesterday while I was home with Natalie during the afternoon. Luckily for me Natalie had two of what we like to call “blowouts”. I’m sure you can finger this out, but let’s say it’s when the diaper is no match for her hiny.
Of course when you have a blowout, there is some hand washing of the victimized clothes to be done. Tiffany’s siblings were also visiting so Emma, the oldest, kept an eye on Natalie each time I started scrubbing the onesies. After the first stain, I decided to keep her pants off. It was warm enough in the house I thought and I had planned on feeding her soon after.
Well the pants stayed off and the second blowout happened sitting on my lap facing me, probably her favorite position to take care of her business. I think when it comes time to potty train her, I’ll paint the toilet seat like a pair of my mesh shorts.
Anyway, I could tell that she went, this was confirmed audibly and by an extra special scent that entered the air. I changed her, scrubbed the onesy that was victimized and we went about our day.
A few HOURS later I’m brushing my teeth after dinner when I notice something on my shirt in the mirror. It was an old t-shirt and the stain appeared to be in a spot where I had a previous stain, but I still said aloud, “Is that poop?” Tiffany asked what I said and when I repeated it she immediately started to laugh.
I didn’t think this was possible. Five people had seen me that afternoon and my shirt and no one had said anything. So I lifted the shirt to my nose and took a whiff....nothing. I felt pretty sure that it was an old pasta sauce stain or something. Well Tiffany decided to find out for sure and took a wet tissue and wiped it on my shirt. If something came off on the tissue, well suffice to say, we would know the stain was new.
It was poop. Meanwhile I had almost shoved my shirt entirely up my nose. I’m not sure if I was more irritated that I had done that or that NO ONE NOTICED I HAD POOP ON MY SHIRT ALL AFTERNOON. On Sunday I had shaved and Tiffany asked me at one point in the early afternoon, “Did you shave today?” I answered back from our bedroom (she was in the living room), “Yeah, can’t you tell?” She hadn’t noticed at all, she was holding Natalie and smelled my aftershave on her and was wondering why.
I’m beginning to wonder if I gained 20 pounds if anyone would notice.